Civil discourse

Originally posted on 16 January 2023

Stuff journalist Paula Penfold recently wrote an opinion piece on her experiences involving online abuse (‘Abuse of journalists shows how ugly our civil discourse has become’, 15 January 2023).  

She spoke of an article she’d written a year earlier about her sister (who'd been left immunocompromised from her fight with cancer) and questioned why people would refuse to adopt Covid measures which would not only help themselves, but vulnerable people like her sister.

It’s a confronting read - the abuse people hurled at Ms. Penfold was disgusting, vitriolic, misogynistic, and entirely unwarranted. I would say some of it verged on hate speech and could have been actioned as such.

And inevitably it reminded me of the online abuse I received following my controversial departure from TVNZ in May 2022. I know the context is very different - and to be clear, I’m not making any sort of direct comparison nor am I commenting on Ms. Penfold or her journalism - but also, abuse is abuse and it can do the same damage.

Before I deleted my social media accounts and took this official website offline, I got all sorts of abuse.  From the predictably racist (“go back to where you came from!”) to the threats of violence (“Get out while you can still walk”) to a full email detailing how I could, and indeed should, kill myself (“So pills, rope, or a bullet… just fall on your sword… you’ll never work again”).

It’s difficult stuff to read, but luckily the Delete button is never far. These unpleasant people - often, extraordinarily, writing as themselves - can be consigned to the trash in pretty quick time.

But when the abuse and harassment actually invades your everyday life - that’s much tougher to ignore and leaves longer-lasting effects.

The people coming to your door and repeatedly trespassing on your property.

The location and value of your home, and the model and colour of your car being posted online.

The harassment of your family and staking-out of their homes.

Notes being put under their doors, and yours.

A car carrying your daughter (I wasn’t even in the car) being followed between family members’ homes.

The questioning of your builder and electrician. The hassling of your neighbours.  

And even months later, people still coming to your door, trying to physically push their way into your home whilst being told to leave.

And if you haven’t guessed already... it was journalists who did all that. Members of the New Zealand media.

Admittedly some were professional, even polite. But the majority were underhanded, invasive, and odious in their tactics. And that’s to say nothing of what they ended up publishing - which veered from the speculative, to outright lies and the editing of statements.

Our civil discourse has most definitely become ugly.

It’s also a two-way street. 

As a journalist of 25 years, I don’t want to see members of the media being attacked or abused for doing their job. It’s unacceptable.

But that job needs to be done responsibly and ethically. And when stories are published, the content needs to match the headline.

Plenty of people reading this will still conclude that I deserved the media attention I got. And of course, that position will be reached by what they’ve read online and seen on TV. 

But it’s not the whole story, and given the way the media behaved in trying to get that story, is it any wonder I chose not to speak to them?

Perhaps in the future, there’ll be a more balanced platform to tell my own story, for those who want to listen to it.